I usually dont make New Years Resolutions but today, I decided that I will…So, my resolution is that I will be even more freaking awesome than I already am! And yes, I know this is gonna be hard feat to accomplish cuz honestly how can u top the copious amounts of awesome that I deliver on a daily basis? U cant can U? We’ll find out, starting NOW! #Pow
Profession: Baby Mama!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ok, I’ve been thinking about making a serious career change. I want something a little more lucrative & conducive to my “mini-diva” lifestyle. It’s official I’m sending in my application 2 the good girls list so I can get an interview 2 potentially become a baby’s mama. My resume & portfolio will include health records, head shots, full body shots, my sexual appetite & prowess. My preferences, recommendations & accommodations from any exes, personality analysis and a signed affidavit that will prohibit me from doing the “crazy” things most baby mamas do, along with a nda(non disclosure agreement!
See this revelation came as I was hanging on my grandma’s porch with the fam & friends. We had an in-depth convo about career changes. Everybody was talking about nursing & criminal justice, blah, blah, bland. You know stuff everybody else do, so I said that I’m gonna become a baby mama. I even broke down the figures for them. I gave Kim Porter as an example, Puffy’s on again, off again boo! Yearly, she collects over a million dollars in child support for her three kids, DAMN! I’m happy with $30,000 a month for one kid, I’m ok with just 6 figures a year! I wont be a “B”, I wont complain, I wont go crazy! I’ll treat it as a business deal & honor my agreement with no breeches! My only requirement is that they be an actual father 4 the kid, simple right?
And with Lil Wayne being loose with his sperm these days, who knows I can get started even quicker! Yes! So 2 prepare 4 my career change, instead of college, I will enroll in a gym & hire a personal trainer 2 get me N2 peak condition for paprazzi shots & the classic hoochie pics(u know I’m in bra & panties leaning over a counter with my bootie tooted up)…the basics! Oops, I almost 4got the most important things, I will need 2 enlist the services of the best weave-tician in the world, the world Craig! So they’ll think I’m Dominican or Puerto Rican! Oh I can even get an accent…yup I got this in the bag!
It’s getting clearer, I see it now, I’m gonna create a dating service called the good girl list where well off and well 2 do men can find a nice young lady 2 plant their seeds in and/or just date…minus the headache! We will conduct extensive background checks, profiles, resumes & have them sign confidentiality agreements & term contracts. It wont just B 4 procreating…it will B 4 dating as well. After the success of that company…I’ll start the same company 4 women…the good boy list!
Do U see my vision? The world would be such a better place and we would all be happier than that thang! 
Whatever that thang may be!
Now that I’m writing it out, I realize I couldnt actually be a client…I could only run the company! Damn, there goes my cushy job, me & these damn morals of mine! One day…one day…I’ll be able to break away & thats the day I’ll get paid 4 getting laid…wait, that sounded like prostitution, my bad…Mulligan! I’ll get paid for my services, damn…still prostitution. Ok, what can I say…ummm…I’ll get paid to bear a child, yeah…yup, that sounds more like becoming a surrogate mother! Ok, I’m happy with that job title, Good Job Lindz!
I’m just saying…
Sounds like a lucrative investment deal & business opportunity to me…what do u think? Any investors?
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